On the Futility of Car Horns

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Car horns can be useful sometimes. I use them on occasion. They can even enhance safety. But most commonly, they are a device used by bullies who ought to be in anger management class. This is one of the axioms by which I live: if someone is beeping at you, it is possible you’ve done something dangerous; but usually they’re beeping at you because they’re doing something dangerous.

I seem to have encountered a lot of horn honkers lately. There are two especially interesting circumstances that have occurred on more than one recent occasion. One is when a driver behind me would like me to run over a pedestrian in a crosswalk. I have old-fashioned scruples about not doing that. The other is when a driver is upset at me for using a left-turn lane for, you know, turning—when I ought to know that they were in the process of appropriating it for a passing lane. There, too, I’m hopelessly out of step with the exciting possibilities of the post-modern roadway.

I am looking forward to driverless cars.

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